YOUR BRAIN IS SQUISHY

GENIUS: Disco Dawgs

2006-02-10T23:38:00.000-06:00

OMG. This video... this is just brilliant. I don't know if it's supposed to be funny but I sure laughed my ass off.

I'm not eloquent enough to describe the appeal of this video clip, but it's not to be missed. Picture dogs, slow motion, a few disco laser lights here and there, and dance music. Or better yet, experience it yourself.

FACE TRANSPLANT UPDATE

2006-02-07T14:28:00.000-06:00

Yesterday (2/6/06) the recipient of the transplant spoke to media about her ordeal. The face is of course a bit odd but all things considered, seems to have been attached pretty successfully. It's only by viewing the before and after photos that you can see that it truly is a new face, rather than someone whose own face had been repaired. The main problem seems to be that she is not yet able to move her new mouth very well in order to speak... I'm not sure what the prognosis is there. She admitted to having taken pills (hence the reason she was unconscious enough for her dog to eat her face), and yes, sadly, she is still smoking.

VIDEO

FOR REAL?: Drinkin' Pee

2006-02-01T17:43:00.000-06:00

After the recent post regarding Kopi Luwak coffee, I recalled an interesting fact I learned of late last year. That fact being that some people drink pee. Their pee, other peoples' pee, pee. Urine. Number One. Wee-wee.

You are thinking, "well sure, they were probably floating in the middle of the ocean or something"... but I'm not talking about survival-pee-drinking. I'm talking about "hey, I don't have to drink it, but it sounds like a Grand Idea, so I will!" pee-drinking.

So, why? Well, for tradition, rituals, and for health reasons. It's not common in the U.S. but in some parts of the world it is quite common and culturally acceptable. I've read that over 3 million Japanese citizens drink their own urine. Apparently they've gotten over the Ick Factor.

Here are some enlightening articles regarding Urine Therapy.
http://skepdic.com/urine.html
http://www.rotten.com/library/medicine/bodily-functions/pissing/drinking-pee/

And yes, just like the crap coffee, I'll admit to not being ready to jump on this bandwagon either. Kudos to those who can/will/do (ew) but I'll stick with water, tea, and not pee.

Thanks to rotten.com for the picture, above.

FUN STUFF: Root Vue Farm

2006-01-31T15:17:00.000-06:00

UPS will be swinging by my house tomorrow... to deliver my brank spanking new Root Vue Farm.

Root Vue Farm you ask? Well, lookit the picture... it's like an Ant Farm, but for plants. See?

This is intended as an educational toy for kids. Pish posh! I say it just looks freakin' fun to grow some stuff in there and watch it progress from seed to seedling to, oh, root vegetable or whatever.

I wonder what I should grow?

PECULIAR PRODUCTS: Crap Coffee

2006-01-30T12:27:00.000-06:00

Have you heard of Kopi Luwak coffee?

When I say "crap coffee" I mean it in literal-ish terms. I cannot vouch for the taste, never having tried the stuff, so it could possibly taste like sweet sweet ambrosia.

Luwaks are marsupials which consume ripe coffee cherries... and out come the beans which are collected to sell to discriminating (?) coffee drinkers. Oh, and we can't discuss Luwak coffee without taking a lookit this animation.

I'm sure there are endless descriptions to be found of how carefully cleaned the beans are and how they provide a unique and superior cup of coffee, but I'm just a low-class gal who thinks coffee beans that have been pooped are less appealing than the undigested kind. (Well, we all have to work within our limitations.)

If you've ever had it, (bully for you, for not being too cowardly like some of us) let me know what you thought. Yeah, the chances of anyone reading this post is small enough, but someone that's actually had this coffee is more than a little slim. It does cost oh, about $175.oo per pound, which significantly narrows the consumer base. That's a lotta dough for a cuppa jo! Guess I'm gonna have to stick with regular old coffee. Dang.

CUTENESS: Lil' Poser, Squirrel With 'Tude

2006-01-25T10:26:00.000-06:00

This insanely cute fella can be found on Flickr in mfeil's Flora and Fauna photo set. What a great shot.

NO BRAINER: Smoking = No Face

2006-01-24T15:10:00.000-06:00

By now most people have heard about the first official "face transplant" performed on a french woman last year. (I'll admit that I'd be more than a little curious to see a photo...)

Apparently her new lips are working well enough for her to begin smoking again. Which means her body might reject her new face.

Sweet Hay-Soos! You'd think that the threat of YOUR FACE FALLING OFF would stop a gal from smoking.

Here's a little Tissue Rejection 101 if you're interested.

MAKIN' STUFF: Cat Fruit Helmets

2006-01-23T22:20:00.000-06:00

I'm sure some of you have seen the limecat. (The original limecat site is no more, how sad. But I believe limecat will prevail.) I want a limecat of my own.

On a similar topic, here is a tutorial from Sketchblog on how to make your kitty it's very own fruit helmet.

I feel inspired. I just have to figure out which fruit to use for my kitties.

QUESTIONABLE TASTE: The Pregnant Dress

2006-01-23T15:47:00.000-06:00

Mayhaps the use of the word "questionable" is itself questionable. There is NO DOUBT that this dress is terrifying. Look Ma! I'm going to the prom! Certainly one of the most bizarre fashion items I have ever seen. Didn't anyone tell this gal that this was not a good idea? Then again, it's certainly possible she was a few bricks shy of a load (and being pregnant might have made her cranky on top of that), and they just didn't wanna mess with Ms. Crazy Pregnant Dress.

This picture came from uglydress.com, stop on by if you want a little entertainment.

HUMAN BEHAVIOR: The Teddy Bear Syndrome

2006-01-22T10:11:00.000-06:00

I was thinking this morning about the Teddy Bear Syndrome. You know what I'm talking about, those guys that are great, but are everyone's friend, and no one's lover. The same thing happens to women, but it seems to be more of an issue for men. So I did a quick search and found this amusing write-up:

Teddy Bear Syndrome

PRODUCT FEATURE: Evil Japanese Curry

2006-01-21T22:40:00.000-06:00

Yes, "Japanese curry" is a bit general, but the package is in Japanese. I have to take someone's word for it. For all I know it's not even curry. It could be ground up little boys, punished for chewing their fingernails.

Someone at an advertising studio actually thought that this packaging would sell a lot of product. Then again, someone did buy it, didn't they?

Now I just have to get someone to eat it.

WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN: Game Night

2006-01-20T17:25:00.000-06:00

Last night was the first official Game Night. (Not counting the time we played and said "we should do this more often".)

My friends Angie and Martha (the wifey couple I affectionately call "The Lesbernans" or "The Girlz") and my friend Celena (Weena!) came over.

We played a game called Cranium. Pretty fun!
It has 4 colors of cards/categories of challenges:
Creative Cat (blue): Usually drawing a picture (sometimes with your eyes closed), or sculpting with play-doh-ish clay.
Star Performer (green): Imitate a famous person, perform a charade, etc.
Data Head (red): Answer trivia question
Word Worm (yellow): Spell something (sometimes backwards) or complete a puzzle

Lesson learned on the first night: Never play Cranium against Angie and Martha, cuz' they kick ass. Weena and I were practically in tears by the time the game ended.

Breeders: 0
Lesbernans: 1

As part of my revenge, Splotches attacked Angie.

STAYIN' HEALTHY: What's wrong with you?

2006-01-20T12:50:00.000-06:00

Ever feel sick with seemingly random symptoms, and want to figure out what the heck is wrong with you? A few years ago I found this website that helps you with the process. Yeah, it's free.

You simply click on the body part relating to your symptom (there are also lists, if the non-graphical approach is easier) and go through the selection process. So, say you have dizziness. You click on the model's face, then choose dizziness and vertigo from the list of symptoms. That brings up a list of groups of symptoms. You choose the set of symptoms that relates most to you, and click the arrow next to it. Voila, instant diagnosis!

Not really though... of course this is just a computer program and not an MD. Self diagnosis should always be taken with a huge grain of salt, but it can be useful information when used wisely.

Here's the site:
http://www.myelectronicmd.com/step2.php

MAKIN' STUFF: Brown Bag Gift Wrap

2006-01-19T13:27:00.000-06:00

Recently I gave someone a gift (yet another one of my favoritest people in the whole wide world) and didn't feel like using regular gift wrap for several reasons.

A) It's boring
B) I ran out of gift wrap and didn't want to buy more
C) I like to make stuff
D) Favoritest people deserve a little extra.

So, I wrapped the gift in a brown grocery bag. I really liked the result so I'm sharin' it here. First I wrapped the gift (a big ol' book). Then I thought it needed something else, so I made a bow out of the scraps.

Splotches helped.

For the bow, I used 8 long strips of paper. With each piece, you overlap the ends, then put all the loops together, and join them with a staple or however you'd like. I used a metallic button to hold this one together (with needle and thread). Then you attach the whole deal to the gift. Easy! I also had another gift, which was just in a small lunch bag. It is held shut with a glass/plastic eyeball (haha, yeah. It's the kind used for stuffed animals I think.).

All done!

It was a lot of fun doing this- I think next time I will use newspaper or newspaper comics. Oh, or fabric.

Let me know if you have any fun gift wrapping experiences yourself!

SOCIAL RULES: Half + Seven.

2006-01-18T13:06:00.000-06:00

Today I heard about an intriguing social "rule" (you know the kind).

If you are considering dating someone younger (or older, the math can be done either way), you can safely (ha) date someone who is half your age plus seven.

I'm 35.
Half: 35 ÷ 2 = 17.5
Plus Seven: 17.5 +7 = 24.5

Let's round it down (sure, what the heck) to 24.

Interesting.

WEIRD SCIENCE: Cancer Sniffing Dogs.

2006-01-17T13:03:00.000-06:00

Someone has discovered that dogs can detect if a person has certain types of cancer, up to 99% accuracy, simply by smelling their breath.

That's just a little tidbit, here are the very cool details:

Cancer Sniffing Dogs

GROSS BUT FASCINATING: Fecal Vomiting

2006-01-15T13:08:00.000-06:00

yes, you read that right. Fecal as in poop. Vomiting, as in vomiting.

I hope you are snacking on a brownie or bean dip right now. Or on anything for that matter. Unless it has lots of fiber in it, in which case I won't discourage you. But just stop chewing for a little bit before you keep reading.

My pals and I were recently discussing Howard Stern's rating on the Skank-o-Meter, and someone brought up one "interesting" guest, a porn star who said that you can actually throw up poop. (I forgot to ask him why he was listening to Howard Stern in the first place...)

We all of course began a debate about how unlikely that is and the reasons why. We left it at "well, someone ought to look it up" and of course no one did.

Saturday I went on a little road trip with a couple fellow vegan freaks, and one of them mentioned that there was a problem these days with some children getting too little fiber. Some get so little fiber that they become constipated to the point of developing a bowel obstruction, and then progressing onto... fecal vomiting.

Hearing about this phenomenon twice in one week was enough to prompt me to look it up. Yes, it's real and it happens. It's even in the dictionary.

Let's all just give up a fervent prayer that none of us ever experiences this. I'm an agnostic and still consider praying to be sound advice. When you're talking about puking poop, you just don't wanna take your chances. Ew.

And they say you can't judge a book by it's cover...

2006-01-12T16:31:00.000-06:00

So, about murderers and serial killers. I know people are always saying they look just like everybody else, and seemed liked such a nice guy, and you can't tell just by looking at a person, yadda yadda, but... this guy actually looks like a killer to me.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/01/12/dna.execution.ap/index.html?section=cnn_topstories

And now for a little fun... you can play this fascinating little game called:
"Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer"
See if you can guess correctly!

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

Back to the "real" world. Darnit.

2006-01-12T16:30:00.000-06:00

My vacation was just plain fabulous. There were plenty of frustrations, particularly the getting there and back bits, but they were outweighed by all the fun. I'll be posting details soon!

TIP: Un-stale crackers

2005-12-30T16:34:00.000-06:00

Don't throw out those crackers just cuz you forgot to close the bag last night and now they seem kinda stale.

Because I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow (technically Sunday) I'm doing the "eat whatever you can find/avoid buying new groceries" thing. You know what I mean- who wants to buy a bag of lettuce if you're going to get back home only to discover it has morphed into something that looks like it came out of the Green Giant's ass after a bout with lactose intolerance?

So, one of my Najjie Tips just occurred to me.

HOW TO UNSTALE STALE CRACKERS:

Pop 'em into the oven at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes. Take them out, let 'em cool, and they'll be fresh-n-crispy just like a brand stinkin' new box.

Oink!

Some of my favorite people in the whole wide world.

2005-12-30T00:11:00.000-06:00

Well, I just got home from dinner with my brother David, his husband Bryan (yes, you read that right) and my friend Celena.

Because I am one of those annoying people that has irresistable urges to provide everyone with nicknames, I shall henceforth refer to the above named people as Doodee, BB and Weena.

So, Weena came over to have dinner at the boys house- she is my former neighbor and became friends with them through me. The story: After dating a couple of years, Doodee and BB (aka "The Boys") got married in Toronto last year. They bought some crappy gold rings to seal the deal. As it happens, Weena knows how to make jewelry. So I suggested she make them some new wedding rings, and the rest is history.

Her first paid jewelry gig, a discount custom ring deal for the boys, and I get to take credit for the match-up. It's a win-win all around!

So, the rings... they's bootyfull, ain't they!

By the way... if you are rational enough to realize that the world won't explode because gay couples get married, visit www.blockoutwisconsin.com

The Power of Negative Thinking

2005-12-28T21:20:00.000-06:00

Let me paint the scenario for ya':

On my way to do some errands, Walgreens first... and thinking while I was driving. I'm not sure what got my mind onto the topic, but I was mentally whining that I hadn't been asked out in, well, let's just say a very long time (because I can't count that high). I told myself to quit bitching and headed into Walgreens.

Within 5 minutes I found myself in the rather unexpected situation of getting checked out by one of the clerks, and then getting hit on by a customer named "Kenny". Admittedly, I got the impression that putting the moves on women at Walgreens isn't unusual for Kenny, and I ran away as quickly as I could without seeming rude... but still... it's kinda funny timing, eh?

Must be the new lipstick. Or, that negative thinking.

Hmmm, what should I whine about next?

MUSIC: Silence in Music Tracks

2005-12-28T18:18:00.000-06:00

I just want to take this opportunity to say that if I wanted to "listen" to silence, I'd turn off my music player.

I've been noticing lately that many artists (at least a decent number of the ones I listen to) feel compelled to make a song that is 9 minutes long, the last 5 of which are silence. WTF?

Do they think this is original?
Cool?
Avant-garde?
Thought provoking?

Well, at least on the last count it wins... it makes me think "arg, that's freakin' annoying."

Cruise Countdown: 4 days left!

2005-12-27T22:49:00.000-06:00

I'm going on a vacation, see? Because the last trip I took that wasn't for a wedding/graduation/funeral/something not quite vacationy, was in 1991. Let's refer to that date as Nineteen Hundred and Ninety One, just to emphasize the fact the it was way too freakin' long ago. So, yeah, over a DECADE ago. I guess you get the picture. (We went to Panama City... that college student destination for spring breakers everywhere.)

So this time... I'm going on a cruise. I've always wanted to go, and I'm so darn excited I'm about to peepee in my knickers.

I'm going all by my lonesome, since all my friends are too broke, or married, or something. (Okay... I didn't actually bother to ask anyone. Cuz', well, I kinda want to go alone- follow my own agenda, do my own thing. Call me crazy if you will.)

I got a balcony room, which I was surpised to learn cruise ships even have. I hope there are some serious safety bars on those puppies! So, I'm taking along some books which I just splurged on at Barnes and Noble, and plan to sit on my balcony all day long and read, and maybe venture out now and then to socialize. We'll see.

Here's what I'm thinking at this point:

• Crap, I live in Wisconsin and am a sun-phobe; I don't have any stinkin' shorts.
• Where'd I put my stupid bathing suit? (And doesn't every gal look forward to putting on their bathing suit... in the winter?)
• Are they going to be able to feed a vegan? Or will I have to eat plain lettuce every day? I'm not a freakin' rabbit, ya' know. ( Uh, nothing against rabbits. I actually think they are quite cute. Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Exhibit C. )
• Please please please oh please don't let me miss one of my connections.
• See above.

Here's the connections plan:
• Sometime after ringing in the new year, say about 2 minutes, try to get a taxi to haul my ass to the bus stop. (Call my crazy, but I'm thinking the taxi co.s will be a little busy hauling around a lot of drunkards around then.) Backup plan: Call brother crying, beg for ride to bus stop.
• 2 a.freakin'.m. Sunday morning, bus from Miami to chicago
• 9 a.m. Fly out of Chicago to Miami

Wish me ruck.

WHY NOT?: Why can't I leave my Christmas tree up year round?

2005-12-26T19:38:00.000-06:00

Christmas trees are purty. They just are, right? Unless you're shackled to a spouse with crappy taste, then there is a good chance you've got a big, sparkly, shining, colorful tree in your living room right now too.

Most years I take the tree down the day after Christmas, because I am ready to move on! But this year I was thinking, well, it just so pretty. All that dang ambience. You know what I mean; those trees'll hypnotize you!

Loooook at meeeee... relaaaxxxx. Thinnnk happpppy thoughtssss...

I don't have a lot of junk in my living room, so I've got plenty of space for the tree. So, I was wondering, why can't I just keep it here year round?

The problem is people will assume that you are a lazyass loser freak if you still have your Christmas tree up in July, right? Not that I condone worrying too much about what other people think, but I really don't want to hear "jeez, you still have that thing up?" everytime someone comes over for a visit.

I think the compromise will be to get some other kind of tree (um, not a pine tree) and put it up in it's place. I can still use my white lights and glass teardrop ornaments. Yup, that's what I'm going to do. I'll update next month or whenever I've gone and put the thing up (maybe this time of year isn't so good for buying trees, huh?)

Hmm, I keep hearing a suspiciously loud baked potato in the oven... I'd better go check on it.

EXPANDING HORIZONS: Christmas Dinner/Tofurky Roast

2005-12-25T13:10:00.000-06:00

Okay, so based on my earlier post about my cat going kerblitzy over tofurky deli slices, you'd think I'd have already had Tofurky before. But I haven't- not the original roast style big'un. They aren't cheap... so that's been a deterrent, plus they seem like sort of a "special occasion" kind of thing.

So, tonight when my brother (veg) and brother-in-law (veg-ish) came over for dinner, we tried it out. (Plus we had some au gratin potatoes and snap pea pods, yom!)

So here's how the whole Tofurky experience went down.
(and sheesh, is it tofurkey, or tofurky? The website is tofurkey.com but the product says tofurky. They're screwing with my head, not much of a challenge, but still...)

You open up the box, and inside is a "roast" about 7x5 or so (totally guessing here), in an ovoid shape. Serves 4. I guess that's right, if you eat two slices a piece. The tofurky is inside a plastic wrapper, which you remove, before wrapping the roast in foil or putting in a roast pan. You can add veggies or whatever, just like with any kind of roast. I was lazy and just wrapped it in foil and tossed it in the oven.

It stays in for 2 hours at 300 degrees. I gave it one flip while it was in there. Once it came out of the oven, we sliced it, and gave it a taste. We also made some mushroom gravy to have with it, because, well, gravy is good.

I have to say, it was pretty good. (My favorite part may have been the stuffing.) D&B loved it and Bryan insisted after a few bites "All I have to say is we are having this again next year."

I'm okay with that.

BEST EVER: Christmas Eve with someone else's family

2005-12-24T22:26:00.000-06:00

Perhaps that's part of what was nice about it. If you need an explanation for that, then congratulations.

This year, like the last two, my brother David and I went over to my brother-in-law's parents' house for Christmas Eve. (Cuz my bro is married to a man, get it?)

Food, presents, a little wine, some conversation, and a few rounds of Apples to Apples.

No stress, no bickering, no traveling. Ahhhhh.

All the crap leading up to Christmas can be a total pain in the ass, but sometimes things go right, and it's completely worth it.

Here's hoping you had a good one too!

BOOK REVIEW: The Colorado Kid by Stephen King

2005-12-24T00:16:00.000-06:00

Hadn't I heard/read that Stephen King was done with writing?

Honestly, you'd think by now that these famous folks'd start throwing in the caveat "but you never know" whenever they pronounce that they are done, finished, finito, never to write/sing/act again.

Well, like the Chers and Celines of the world, he probably realized he was bored off of his rocker, or missed the attention, or perhaps just wanted some more dough so that he can finally build that paper mache outhouse (made entirely out of 100 dollar bills, of course) he has always wanted.

Stephen King is one of those writers I'm always a little hesitant to admit I like. Why? Because it's like admitting you like to listen to Kelly Clarkson. Sure, lots of people like her music, can't help but nod a little and maybe even sing along now and then, but doesn't liking something so common make you feel just a little, well, common? On the same hand, everybody loves Johnny Depp and that's apparently okay. Hmm, gonna have to think about this one a little. Perhaps we all like to think of ourselves as intelligent people, and feel more comfortable liking someone/something with an air of intelligence, or at least a little mystique. (Because we think it reflects positively on ourselves.) That was the long way of saying: Think PBS versus CBS.

Well, I'm too old for that shit. You know what? Even 10 years olds ought to be too old for that shit. If you like something, then like it. It's okay, so long as we just don't forget about all the other good stuff that's out there to be experienced.

So, this book, The Colorado Kid. Check it out on Amazon.com and you'll see it's got a pretty shitty rating. Yup, 3 stars out of 5 is shitty indeed. Why's it got such a low rating? I think I have an idea why...

This book is not like most other King novels. (And I'll save the "he's not just a horror writer" rant for another time.) It's also not a traditional mystery. It's presented as an older (think pulp) crime fiction, with the sultry woman on the cover and everything. What it is however, is a mystery. The real kind that doesn't follow all the formulas and feed you every little detail as if you don't have a mind of your own. Also, it's quite short. Technically it might be a novella. Readers of Stephen King are more used to longer works and might not have appreciated the change.

If you are the type of person that needs everything neat and tidy, with a heavy dose of closure, then don't bother reading it. You'll just end up whining about it to someone else who doesn't give a rat's ass. Go read an Agatha Christie instead, if you want a traditional mystery, with a confrontation and a reveal and all that jazz.

It reads somewhat like one of his short stories. I'm actually glad that this one was short. Usually I like books to last a while when I am enjoying them. In this case I think I would have been too frustrated with the lack of complete closure if I had invested more time in it. The way it is, I was able to appreciate the point, without feeling like I'd been taken for a ride.

As always, it was nice to settle into the book like any of King's work- like slipping on a comfy old pair of jeans. That familiar sense of being in the hands of someone you trust is there... the way he uses words and presents characters is always comfortable, but never boring. One of the reasons I kept reading his books over the years is the way he writes- it's very digestible, but doesn't make you feel like an idiot. You don't get a feeling that he is trying to woo you with the fancy way he weaves words together, because he doesn't write to prove he's got a big vocabulary. He writes as if he is trying to tell you a story, and presents it in such a way that you just get it.

I was entertained, and that's plenty good enough for me.
4 outta 5 stars. Make that 4 and a quarter.

RANT: RoboHelp

2005-12-21T15:18:00.000-06:00

RoboHelp... is making me want to throw things. Or perhaps break them. Or even bite.

Know what my favorite thing is? When I make a change, and am not given an Undo option. Oh, I'm not whining about making 27 changes and wanting to go back that far. I am talking about ONE change, and being stuck with it.

Which really stinks because trying to get things to work in here means I have to experiment a little- between my ignorance and the less than wonderful software...

It's not pretty. Not at all.

Ah, I feel better now. A little.

My Star Has Stopped Shining

2005-12-18T11:58:00.000-06:00

I'm sure someone could read something into that... but I mean it quite literally. After years of looking at a Christmas Tree (already a bit too Charlie Brown by my taste) with a forlornly empty top branch, I finally bought a tree topper.

Being agnostic (but the kind that still likes to do holiday shit, like give my family presents, eat, and sit around and be generally lazy), I didn't want a frilly angel in a white dress, so I went the star route. (yeah yeah, it's no doubt a north star reference, but I'm pretending it's more general. Plus, I like stars. Get off my back already!)

Too bad they're now sold out at Hallmark.

Someday I'll have a shining star again. Maybe for now I can just stick a piece of tin foil up there.

Vegetarian View: Tofurky- how real is too real?

2005-12-15T17:37:00.000-06:00

One of my cats practically mauls me whenever I am eating the sliced "turkey" from Tofurky.

You may have heard of it- it's not really turkey at all, but a wheat/soy product. Yeah, one of those crazy hippy veggie concoctions (hooray for hippy veggies!). Yes, it's actually pretty tasty. Surprisingly turkey-like, which for me is actually something of a turn off. (Hey, when you haven't been eating animals for over two decades, products that really resemble meat can seem a wee bit freaky.)

Anyhoo, this cat (usually very mellow) acts as if her world will absolutely end if I don't share the Tofurkey with her.

It usually plays out something like this:

Me, sitting quietly, enjoying my tofurkey sammich: Chew chew chew. Chew.

Her, sleeping quietly until she realizes THE TOFURKEY IS OUT: "meow? meeooow? Meooow? MEOW? MEEOOWW WILL YOU GIVE ME THE DAMN TOFURKY ALREADY YOU STUPID TWO LEGGED THING?!?"
(this is of course accompanied by a expression of extreme anguish, if a cat can be said to have such a thing.)

Why does she like it so much?
Should I be concerned?
Maybe Tofurky is run by some crazy carnivorous evil pranksters who thunk it'd be a hoot to slip some innocent vegetarians bonified bird meat. And the FDA is in on it.
Good think I'm not paranoid.

Come to think of it, both the cats also like Tofutti (soy ice cream), mock duck (wheat gluten) and even soy milk. Go figure.

I really shouldn't be surprised. This particular kitty ("Sister", the piggy one) eats so fast she pukes up half of her meals. I've said more than once that one of these days I'll going to slip in the shower, hit my head, and the cat will gnaw me down to my skeleton before someone finds me. Talk about food issues.

Well hell, I've written and entire post about a cat here, so I might as well add a picture too. (FREAKING CAT LADY)

PBS Deserves a Big Hug: Freaky Birds

2005-12-13T00:33:00.000-06:00

Okay, the program wasn't called "Freaky Birds". It was actually "Song of the Earth" and talked about the origins of human music, the nature of music, and songs/music found in animals.

But, there were some freaky birds. I'm referring especially to the Lyre bird (Superb Lyrebird), which has an uncanny ability to mimic the sounds of other birds, as well as man made sounds, and sometimes even humans.

Here is one of my favorite Lyre bird recordings, at around the 1:40 mark you'll hear it imitating the sound of a chainsaw. In another one (which sadly, now I cannot find) it imitates the sounds of a construction site. It's damned good at car alarms too. So, freaky, right?

Freaky cool, that is.

RECIPE: Coconut Haystacks

2005-12-11T22:36:00.000-06:00

Using my powers for good...

COCONUT HAYSTACKS

Okay, these are too yummy not to share. I haven't really decided yet whether they are good, or evil.

One 12 oz. bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips.
One 12 oz. bag of shredded coconut. (sweetened or unsweetened, I like sweetened)

Spread the coconut onto a cookie sheet, and bake at 375. Check on it frequently, and stir every few minutes once it starts to brown around the edges. Once it is all browned, remove from oven and cool.

Melt the chocolate in a pan on very low heat, or in a double boiler. If you decide to experiment with this recipe, keep in mind that adding any sort of liquid to the chocolate will cause it to "seize". I often add some pure vanilla extract, at the last possible moment before adding the coconut.)

Pour the toasted coconut into the chocolate, stir, then drop spoonfuls of the mixture onto wax paper. Allow to cool.

That's it.

Evil. Yes, I think I've decided they are most definitely evil.

And I'll leave you with a haystack related quote:

"...they're totally insane. They should be harder to make!"

-Beebs, my favorite brother-in-law.

His mama musta done something right.

2005-12-10T23:00:00.000-06:00

My brother, affectionately nicknamed "Doodee" (and no, it has nothing to do with poop) just called me. I had already talked to him about 20 minutes ago, and he called me back just because he forgot to thank me for something the first time we talked.

That's cool.

Yes, he can be a pain in the ass - it runs in the family (we like to place the blame on our genes) but he sure does have some awesomeness going on too. :-)

Plus, he makes a really good vegan pesto.

starting over...

2005-12-10T22:51:00.000-06:00

A month or two ago, I started a blog here. The articles were usually on the long side, and I eventually went back and deleted them all. Got all self-conscious and shit. Plus, I was setting a trend for posts that would just take too freaking long. I've got more entertaining and easier ways to waste time. Don't you? I mean really, what are you doing here? Well, I'm not one to question your choices, so read on, My Darling Reader.

So here is the new and not necessarily improved version. I'm just going to put up little snippets now and then when they occur to me, or when I'm avoiding working on something that actually is productive. As in, "pays the rent" or "keeps stress at bay" productive. You know the kind.

(No doubt I'll eventually revert to the old more verbose style... I just can't help myself! Some people are big on the blah blah blah, that's just the way it is.)

Enjoy! Or don't.